Governmentium: New Entrant in the Periodic Table

I was busy this afternoon browsing the Net for fillers for our quarterly publication. Found this one. I can't use it - too long. But it is just so funny that I have to share it with you. If you've read it before, enjoy it one more time. If it's your first time to read it, enjoy. :)

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Research has led to the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. 

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every action with which it comes into contact. 

A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second to take from four days to four years to complete. Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2-6 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. 

In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass. When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons. 

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A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have. 
-Thomas Jefferson

Nation of servants

First things first. This Tsao must be dragged to the nearest court. It is very inhumane to make someone work 16 hours a day and pay her a measly $3,580 a month.

I am tempted to call him names but my Ethics 101 prevailed so I am not stooping down to his level. Instead, below his article, I am pasting a 2008 article written by Abdullah Al-Maghlooth in Arab News. Your choice.

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THE WAR AT HOME

by Chip Tsao, HK Online

The Russians sank a Hong Kong freighter last month, killing the seven Chinese seamen on board. We can live with that—Lenin and Stalin were once the ideological mentors of all Chinese people. The Japanese planted a flag on Diàoyú Island. That's no big problem—we Hong Kong Chinese love Japanese cartoons, Hello Kitty, and shopping in Shinjuku, let alone our round-the-clock obsession with karaoke.

But hold on—even the Filipinos? Manila has just claimed sovereignty over the scattered rocks in the South China Sea called the Spratly Islands, complete with a blatant threat from its congress to send gunboats to the South China Sea to defend the islands from China if necessary. This is beyond reproach. The reason: there are more than 130,000 Filipina maids working as $3,580-a-month cheap labor in Hong Kong. As a nation of servants, you don't flex your muscles at your master, from whom you earn most of your bread and butter.

As a patriotic Chinese man, the news has made my blood boil. I summoned Louisa, my domestic assistant who holds a degree in international politics from the University of Manila, hung a map on the wall, and gave her a harsh lecture. I sternly warned her that if she wants her wages increased next year, she had better tell every one of her compatriots in Statue Square on Sunday that the entirety of the SpratlyIslands belongs to China.

Grimly, I told her that if war breaks out between the Philippines and China, I would have to end her employment and send her straight home, because I would not risk the crime of treason for sponsoring an enemy of the state by paying her to wash my toilet and clean my windows 16 hours a day. With that money, she would pay taxes to her government, and they would fund a navy to invade our motherland and deeply hurt my feelings.

Oh yes. The government of the Philippines would certainly be wrong if they think we Chinese are prepared to swallow their insult and sit back and lose a Falkland Islands War in the Far East. They may have Barack Obama and the hawkish American military behind them, but we have a hostage in each of our homes in the Mid-Levels or higher. Some of my friends told me they have already declared a state of emergency at home. Their maids have been made to shout 'China, Madam/Sir' loudly whenever they hear the word 'Spratly.' They say the indoctrination is working as wonderfully as when we used to shout, 'Long live Chairman Mao!' at the sight of a portrait of our Great Leader during the Cultural Revolution. I'm not sure if that's going a bit too far, at least for the time being."

IMAGINE A WORLD WITHOUT FILIPINOS

Abdullah Al-Maghlooth/Al-Watan, almaghlooth@alwatan.com.sa

Muhammad Al-Maghrabi became handicapped and shut down his flower and gifts shop business in Jeddah after his Filipino workers insisted on leaving and returning home. He says: “When they left, I felt as if I had lost my arms. I was so sad that I lost my appetite.”

Al-Maghrabi then flew to Manila to look for two other Filipino workers to replace the ones who had left. Previously, he had tried workers of different nationalities but they did not impress him. “There is no comparison between Filipinos and others,” he says. Whenever I see Filipinos working in the Kingdom, I wonder what our life would be without them.

Saudi Arabia has the largest number of Filipino workers — 1,019,577 — outside the Philippines. In 2006 alone, the Kingdom recruited more than 223,000 workers from the Philippines and their numbers are still increasing. Filipinos not only play an important and effective role in the Kingdom, they also perform different jobs in countries across the world, including working as sailors. They are known for their professionalism and the quality of their work.

Nobody here can think of a life without Filipinos, who make up around 20 percent of the world’s seafarers. There are 1.2 million Filipino sailors.

So if Filipinos decided one day to stop working or go on strike for any reason, who would transport oil, food and heavy equipment across the world? We can only imagine the disaster that would happen.

What makes Filipinos unique is their ability to speak very good English and the technical training they receive in the early stages of their education. There are several specialized training institutes in thePhilippines, including those specializing in engineering and road maintenance. This training background makes them highly competent in these vital areas.

When speaking about the Philippines, we should not forget Filipino nurses. They are some 23 percent of the world’s total number of nurses. The Philippines is home to over 190 accredited nursing colleges and institutes, from which some 9,000 nurses graduate each year. Many of them work abroad in countries such as the US, the UK, Saudi Arabia, theUnited Arab Emirates, Kuwait and Singapore.

Cathy Ann, a 35-year-old Filipino nurse who has been working in the Kingdom for the last five years and before that in Singapore, said she does not feel homesick abroad because “I am surrounded by my compatriots everywhere.” Ann thinks that early training allows Filipinos to excel in nursing and other vocations. She started learning this profession at the age of four as her aunt, a nurse, used to take her to hospital and ask her to watch the work. “She used to kiss me whenever I learned a new thing. At the age of 11, I could do a lot. I began doing things like measuring my grandfather’s blood pressure and giving my mother her insulin injections,” she said.

This type of early education system is lacking in the Kingdom. Many of our children reach the university stage without learning anything except boredom.

The Philippines, which you can barely see on the map, is a very effective country thanks to its people. It has the ability to influence the entire world economy.

We should pay respect to Filipino workers, not only by employing them but also by learning from their valuable experiences.

We should learn and educate our children on how to operate and maintain ships and oil tankers, as well as planning and nursing and how to achieve perfection in our work. This is a must so that we do not become like Muhammad Al-Maghrabi who lost his interest and appetite when Filipino workers left his flower shop.

We have to remember that we are very much dependent on the Filipinos around us. We could die a slow death if they chose to leave us.

Generation Gap

My husband gave his old mobile phone to my 12-year son. The phone had loads of hit '80s music - new wave, disco, love songs. After a week, my son gave my husband a sheet of yellow paper. 

Husband: O, kuya, ano 'to?
Son: Listahan ng mga kanta, paki-download po para sa cell na bigay mo po sa akin.
Husband: E, marami kayang kanta dun.
Son: Madami nga po, ang papangit naman. 
Me: (singit sa usapan) WHAaaAT? Ano'ng pangit sa mga kanta dun? Mga sikat kaya yung mga kanta dun?
Son: E di ko nga alam yun, mama e....
Me: (taking a look at the list) E sino ba itong si Jordin Sparks? Di ko naman kilala ito.
Son: Magaganda kaya ang kanta nyan....
Me: E hindi ko kaya alam ang mga kanta nyan 
Son: E sino po ba si Madonna?
Me: 'Lika na nga, kain na tayo. Male-late na kayo.

By the way, I'm now downloading MP3s of Flo Rida, Akon, Ne Yo, Rihanna and Miley Cyrus (requested by my 9-year old daughter), Jonas Brothers and a lot more whose names I heard only this morning. :)

CivPro recit

Yesterday's recitation in Civil Procedure was goddam frustrating. I was ready for the battle with Atty. Tan. I read and re-read Rules 47 - 61. I took notes. I memorized every enumeration in the covered Rules. Or so I thought. In true Atty. Tan fashion, he weaved through my brains and picked every memory cell. And god, I was ready only up to Rule 61! Beyond that, there's nothing that I- nor he- can extract from my brains. And if that was not enough, he went backward  from Rule 71 after finishing Rule 61. And worst of all, our constant lizard guest, kept on saying "tsk, tsk, tsk" as if mocking my "ignorance of the law". The day I find out where that lizard is hiding is the day it says goodbye to its life...LOL:)

Still sick and the bridge remains unpassable

Ok, I'm done cutting and pasting selected blogs from my Friendster blog. I also have one in Multiply. A friend told me to just use the Yahoo 360 to do the trick for me of linking all my blogs. I'm not really a techie and I am tired of registering in every site in the web so I guess I'll content myself with the cut and paste method. :)

So am I feeling better now since last Friday? Nah. Still have cough and my nose is drippy. But I manage, thank you. I've already finished two mugs of hot calamansi juice. I have been nursing this cough for three weeks now. My doctor refused to prescribe antibiotics last week. He said he did not see any infection after pressing the stethoscope on my back and making me inhale/exhale a couple of times. I'm religiously taking Sinecod Forte and Fluimucil but these don't seem to help so I'm going back to him tomorrow. I'm bringing Patricia, my youngest, with me because her cough is also getting worse.

Will somebody tell me when Kaytialo Bridge can be passable? It's been under repair since September! My husband drops me off the other end, I walk a few meters, cross the bridge, walk a few meters again and then take another ride to the office. There was a drizzle this morning and everyone who crosses the bridge knows how despicable it is to walk the stretch from end to end. The mud, honey, the mud!!!

This morning, I arrived at the office with my legs dotted with streaks of mud. So yucky. I hope that bridge opens to vehicles before summer officially starts. Otherwise, clouds of dust will greet me every morning. And I hope the repaired bridge will last a long, long time. I said that because the portion of the provincial road near Nayong Lourdes Subd. which was repaired only about three years ago is again full of potholes deep and wide (since last year). Whenever we traverse that road, and that is everyday, we are transported to the Moon and its craters. And oh, I miss the sign along that road. The sign was posted by a local politician. It was in Tagalog and the thought was some kinda like this: "This road was repaired by (name of politician) even it is the responsibility of (political foe) and (government office)." Ang saya-saya! Where is that sign?? Please put it back there, please, so we will be reminded who is to blame. :)

Not feeling well

Am not feeling well. Have a bad case of cough. Been sneezing every second since yesterday (ok, that's exag). Right this minute, I believe that atom is the smallest particle of matter. I can feel every atom in the air. In fact, they're playing soccer and they keep banging against my skin. And, ouch, they hurt! But they can't stop me from banging on my keypad to bring life to this blog. I just hope the momentum sustains. :)

Bye for now, need to review for my Succession class tomorrow. Wish me luck. :)

Not attending Transpo class

Am not attending Transpo class today. Have loads of work at the office (it’s anniversary month and deadline for our quarterly publications), my husband is not happy with the maid’s cooking (which means I have to personally prepare dinner tonight), and I am not prepared for Atty. Pia (the main reason, actually). Haven’t read any case, haven’t read the provisions, and I forgot to bring my codal which is a requirement in his class. I can not come to class unprepared. Atty. Pia asks the most unexpected questions. The old man is old school lawyer/teacher, doesn’t mince words. I’d rather bury myself tonight in 30 cases than have him tell me I have no right to be in his class. One prayer - no quiz today, please…